Those of you who know me well know I have been
struggling with many difficulties over the past several years and especially in recent months as those difficulties insist on playing out in my life. I have been deeply disappointed by people I love, (how many times do I need the lesson that when I put my faith in man instead of God, I will always be disappointed?). My forty years experience as a real estate broker that taught me I could always generate income when I need it has proven not to be true (how many times do I have to learn not to rely on myself for my provision?). And the absolute conviction that everything will work out has faded into hoping it will (how long will it take me to learn that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen?). You can see, I have been robbed of my joy recently by the necessity of living life. I am face-to-face with myself . . . and I find I am lacking. So, I went into my Bible time this morning with my grievances against God. If He would give me the victory over my circumstances, I’d stop relying on myself.
Isn’t that just like a human, always seeking God’s hands and never His face? Fix it, fix me, fix this, fix that, gimme, gimme, gimme. Well, praise Him that, so far at least, I have not tried His patience to the extent that He throws up His hands and walks away. Instead, He was waiting for me in the room where I read my Bible and when I sat down and opened it He turned the pages to 1 John 5:15. And He spoke directly to me, “Nikki, since you positively know that I listen to you in whatever you ask, you also know with settled and absolute knowledge that you have granted to you as your present possessions the requests you made of Me.”
“What?” I am telling you the truth. That is what He said. You can read it for yourself in 1 John. I understand that to mean that all of my list of needs is already met. I had to sit there for awhile to really grasp it. This is His way with me. First he shows me His truth (I just read it in that verse). We all know His truth. Hundreds of them are stated in the Bible. But the problem is that they are not our truth. It isn’t until a moment like this, when God allows circumstances to force me to come face-to-face with my reliance on myself (which always leads to difficulties) that I am willing to hear Him. And when I do, when I really hear Him, it becomes my truth. It is integrated into my being and I can walk in it. Am I to understand from what He said that He has already taken care of everything in my life that is pressing me now? The mending of my heart, my provision, and the assurance that everything will work out. All I have to do is receive it!
Yes, He says that He has granted to me, as my present possession, the requests I have made. I know my requests are in His will ( hardly a minor detail when we want Him to move in our lives) because His Word says that He wants me to trust Him for my joy, my provision, and my hope for the future. So, now He is saying He has taken care of all that. I just need to keep my eyes on Him, completely, totally on Him, and receive all He has already done for me. He did it all on the cross for me. He personally bore our sins in His (own) body on the tree (as on an altar and offered Himself on it), that I might die (cease to exist) to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds I have been healed.
Have been healed. Back then is when He did it all for me so I could walk in that truth today. Talk about provision! If I will faith into that, it will become my truth. He has taught me that over and over. I invite you to come with me on my journey and faith into that truth today and again tomorrow and again and again until we meet Him face-to-face and can fall at His feet and thank Him for all He has done for us.
Amen! I’m sorry to hear of the trials you’ve been going through but it sounds as if they’re bringing you closer and closer to Jesus. 🙂 Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for this reminder today. Sometimes I just want to rest my head on a cool rock and not move. Then He sends the reminder that He is my Rock and He never fails,He does provide,and no matter what happens in this life, I am His child. When I remember, then everything is okay. As you said, move in His strength and will and not my own.
Jessica and Mary I am so glad you stopped by. I love my time with God but I also love fellowship with my sisters in Christ. Thanks for your words.
Hi Nikki,
I second Jessica’s Amen.
It’s been a long road, but I’m learning to ask and then trust the Lord to meet my needs and handle situations. It’s hard to keep from taking the reins back, but the victories are sweet when I just trust in Him and follow His lead.
Blessings,
Susan 🙂
Excellent Nikki….don’t you know the Lord smiles at us when we finally ‘get it’? He’s with us all along, it is we who go off on our own or tangents here and there and leave him out of our day to day. I John also talks about ‘abiding’. Webster’s definition:
: to wait for : await
: to endure without yielding : withstand
: to bear patiently
: to accept without objection
: to remain stable or fixed in a state
: to continue in a place
So good, our God is good, His promises are true, and He is ‘our truth’.
Hi Renae and Susan,
So good to see you here and thanks for sharing.
Oh how I needed this glorious reminder Nikki!
I’ve done the very things you mentioned at the top this week. Relied on myself for provision of finances, joy, hope…”He has taken care of all that. I just need to keep my eyes on Him, completely, totally on Him, and receive all He has already done for me.”
He has already done it all and delights to provide. Thank you for reminding me. My hope is in HIM!
Yep, it is so easy to forget that we need only stand on the ground he’s already taken. He did it all on the cross, we just need to faith into it. But I find that is a moment by moment commitment. Sometimes I have to read my own posts to get refocused !!